Is your marriage bringing you joy and satisfaction? Or are you dealing with a lot of pain and conflict? The world often encourages selfishness and hasty divorce, but you may use these 10 biblical keys to a successful marriage for married and unmarried couples to deepen and enhance your marriage and help it become what God intended!
The basis of society is the family. A happy marriage offers happiness to the extended family and society, but it can also bring issues. What can you do to make your marriage better?
When a man and a woman make the decision to become husband and wife, there is usually a joyful celebration to mark the beginning of their new family. A wedding is a happy occasion that is frequently accompanied by music, flowers, relatives, and friends. One of the most significant milestones in a person’s life is marriage. The bride and groom may even speak customary lines like “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part” during their official, public commitment.
Are you well-prepared for marriage if you’re preparing to marry? And if you’re already married, how are you holding up your end of the bargain?
10 Biblical Keys to a Successful Marriage for Married and Unmarried Couples
1. Make a conscious effort to keep Christ at the center of your relationship.
The hearts of those who are truly filled with God’s love will not be furious for long. The best thing you can do to keep your marriage strong is to actively seek Him—both individually and as a couple (Psalm 127:1).
2. With your spouse, form a new family unit.
It’s crucial to build a home together and learn to negotiate life’s duties as “one body” when you get married. Even in civilizations where you can’t physically leave your parents’ home, finding independence and creating your own family culture is crucial (Genesis 2:24). (or they join yours).
3. Learn to pray as a family.
We are encouraged to pray together in the Bible (Matthew 26:41; James 5:16). This practice allows your spouse to see and comprehend what’s on your mind, and it can also help you remember what you asked for, which can help you see God’s responses more clearly.
4. Spend Quality one-on-one time with each other
Men are encouraged to praise their wives, while wives are encouraged to please their husbands, according to the Bible (Proverbs 31:28; 1 Corinthians 17:34). It goes without saying that doing so necessitates planning ahead of time and spending quality time with one another.
5. Be aware of and control your thoughts.
Our ideas can become self-fulfilling prophecies, according to the Bible (Proverbs 4:23, 23:7). It’s not always life’s circumstances that affect our mental well-being; it’s rather how we think about them. Because the devil loves to entice us with negative thoughts or make us unhappy in our relationships, it’s critical to recognize and positively reframe those thoughts.
6. Attempt to achieve a sense of balance and order.
Overwork, as well as laziness, can have a negative impact on your marriage. Overworking yourself can lead to bad eating habits and a lack of sleep, making you irritable and unpleasant to live with. However, being lazy can make your partner resent you. It’s critical to strike a daily balance between hard labor and relaxation (1 Corinthians 9:25-27; Proverbs 31; 2 Thessalonians 3:10).
7. Never Go to bed Angry
The Bible is quite clear in its warning not to “let the sun go set on our wrath” (Ephesians 4:26). When you’re sharing a bed, this is very vital!
8. Speak to one another in a positive and encouraging manner.
Even when disagreements develop, conflict can be resolved by mutual respect and compassionate words. This necessitates attentive listening, not leaping to conclusions or using harsh words to silence your partner, and may even necessitate sometime apart before speaking to each other (Proverbs 15:1; Ecclesiastes 9:9).
9. Don’t berate or criticize one another.
King Solomon compares being around a nagging, criticizing, or angry woman to torture (Proverbs 27:15), and advises that it is preferable to live in the wilderness than to be with her (Proverbs 21:19). Expecting perfection from your spouse can indicate a deeper dissatisfaction with Christ. Remember, it is He, not your partner, who promises to meet your needs!
10. Be financially sound.
Money is a need for survival, but it can also be a source of stress if it is not managed properly. Sharing a bank account allows couples to strengthen their bond, but it can also lead to problems if there is a breakdown in communication. Both partners should agree on their duties in budgeting and financial management, and it’s critical to set aside time to talk about money (1 Corinthians 13:4,5; 2 Corinthians 9:7).
15 Recommended tips for a successful marriage by couples married over 50 years till Now
1. Be self-sufficient
In a marriage, independence was deemed “very crucial.”
We must first be happy in order to be happy in a relationship. That is, after all, the cornerstone to a happy partnership. With this in mind, wives and husbands must continue to set aside time for themselves, pursue personal interests, and spend time apart in general.
Not only does time apart make the heart grow fonder, but it also allows us to reconnect with our spiritual side, re-establish our sense of ourselves, and keep track of our particular preferences, ambitions, and achievements.
On the other side, being reliant reduces your resolve and capacity to move forward as a free thinker.
We will always have something to talk about at the dinner table if we preserve our autonomous sense of self, and we will always be stronger, healthier, and more attractive to our spouses.
2. Be a good listener
We’ve got to talk.
Most partners dread this term, but did you know that providing a foundation for good dialogues is the way to go if you want to have a great relationship?
While all women should practice active listening, we believe that men should pay special attention to this area. Men frequently fail to recognize that all their partner requires is a listening ear.
This is due to their programming and how they have been taught to interact with others.
Keep in mind that listening and hearing are not synonymous. Our hearts are involved in listening. Open yours, listen to what she has to say, gaze at her while she is speaking, even paraphrase her, and reassure yourself.
Listening is the fundamental secret to a great marriage or any relationship for that matter.
3. Make a deal with yourself to agree to disagree.
Being a nice pair does not imply that they agree on everything. The majority of the couples we spoke with had divergent attitudes, ideas, and belief systems, and in some cases, had opposing viewpoints on significant issues.
Every couple should experience some level of conflict at some point. Successful, loving couples appreciated one another’s points of view and even had a sense of humor about their disagreements.
Remember that one of the most important aspects of a happy marriage is mutual respect.
Recognize that one of two opposing viewpoints does not have to be correct.
4. Communicate – be aware of your partner’s “Love Language.”
There are various books on the Languages of Love available. This was based on the psychological premise that each person has his or her own unique manner of communicating love.
Metaphors can be utilized in communication that refers to something the individual understands well if you know your partner’s likes and hobbies.
Observe how your partner expresses love physically to learn what makes a good marriage.
This could be something as simple as washing your car or picking up the kids. It may be keeping the amenities stocked and ironing his garments that she is responsible for. For others, it’s all about words, letters, and love.
What’s our suggestion for a happy marriage? Learn your partner’s love language so you’ll always know how to communicate with them. Although love languages are frequently discussed, couples do not pay as much attention to them as they should.
The key to a great relationship is to understand your spouse’s love language.
Lack of acceptance is a relationship killer that is more usually associated with women, who are known for their nagging. Remember that we married our partner for who he was at the time and for who he is now. We can’t change him now, even if we wanted to.
Realizing this as soon as possible is the key to a happy marriage.
You are solely focused on his flaws or faults while pressing or influencing him. Change your mindset right away and start focusing on the good aspects of yourself.
6. Assume accountability
It’s that simple, and it’s one of the keys to a happy marriage. Take responsibility for your accomplishments and shortcomings when working on a project.
Remember to take responsibility for your actions, including everything you did or said, especially if it was cruel, unthoughtful, or caused difficulties, when you and your partner have a disagreement or fight.
7. Don’t take each other for granted.
The most dangerous pathogen of all is taking one other for granted. It’s common for couples to become complacent once they’ve gotten used to each other, and expectations arise.
This is only a matter of human nature, as we become accustomed to our surroundings, but in marriage, you should never come to the point where you take your partner for granted.
Make a promise to always respect your mate, no matter what. When possible, avoid making assumptions and offer to do nice things for your partner. Most successful marriages have at least one partner who can attest to this.
8. Have a date night
This is the most ignored and overlooked suggestion among the other tips for a successful marriage among couples, especially those who have been married for a long time. What a couple does on their date night is irrelevant.
Simply having a night where they spend all of their time together strengthens and sustains their closeness. Turn your phones off and put them away before going out on a date night to avoid distractions.
Go hiking or rollerblading together, or watch a movie at home with popcorn. Change things up frequently, and be supportive and encouraging to one another. A romantic and thoughtful date night is not only one of the keys to a happy marriage but also one of the most important ingredients.
It’s crucial to schedule this at least once a month, if not more frequently, in order to retain accountability and build a date night routine.
9. Add a touch of romance
Do you want to know how to make a marriage work? With your romance, go old school. Giving her a flower or leaving a love note in his briefcase or backpack are two examples of romantic deeds. Surprise him with his favorite meal or spend some time together watching the sunset.
There are many marriage advice and ideas available, and you’ll be surprised at how much a little romance can help to build a relationship.
10. Maintain intimacy
The importance of sex in happy marriage cannot be overstated. Sex should be done on a regular basis, and therapists advise that you do it even if you’re not in the mood!
We recommend chatting about what makes you happy and including any fantasy role-playing, positions, or bedroom items you wish to include to keep things interesting.
After all, what good is a happy marriage if it doesn’t allow you to achieve your goals?
Giovanni Maccarrone, a life coach, discusses how making just one conscious decision before getting married can help a marriage succeed.
“A compliment a day keeps the divorce lawyer away,” says the proverb. Acknowledging and complimenting your partner’s great qualities on a daily basis will go a long way in your relationship.
Maintain a good attitude and keep notice of what your spouse excels in. When things get tough and his less-than-stellar qualities emerge, instead of focusing on the negative, try shifting gears and focusing on the positive.
12. Keep an eye out for a soft emotion.
Psychologists teach that there is a soft emotion behind every “hard” emotion.
Anger frequently hides another feeling, such as grief, disappointment, or envy, when we experience it. Anger is frequently used as a mask to hide our vulnerabilities.
Finding the “soft” or sensitive feelings beneath someone’s strong display of fury will help you stay connected since you will be better able to empathize with their actual mood.
We often look for marriage advice in order to have a happy relationship, but we overlook the fact that something as simple as recognizing the reality of emotions may keep us on track.
13. Give up the fantasy
We are conditioned to believe in fairytale endings, and as a result, we may carry certain incorrect ideas on reality into adulthood. We must acknowledge that, while marriage can be a lovely thing, it is not easy and will never be ideal.
Maintain reasonable expectations and avoid falling prey to the fairy tale – you may be severely disappointed. This is not only one of the most important aspects of a good marriage, but it also has a significant impact on your personal satisfaction.
14. Do not exert any control.
Married people frequently reach a point where they lose themselves, succumb to envy or feelings of inadequacy, forget that they are separate individuals from their partners, and want to control them.
The majority of the time, this is done unintentionally as expectations rise over time.
Communication, independent time, and appropriate pleasures are what keep any pair on track. Get a handle on it or make an appointment with a family counselor if you feel you are being controlled or are the controller.
15. Never use the D-word in a sentence.
If you don’t really want a divorce, don’t threaten to get one. This is a control technique used by couples that use the D-word or talk of separation during disagreements. Couples who use it in a threatening manner are more likely to be divorced.
Making threats is not a mature problem-solving method, so avoid it.
These successful marriage strategies are recommended by the majority of happy couples. You will not only be able to save your marriage but also enjoy a highly successful one if you follow this advice on how to have a successful marriage.
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